Young Single Adults

Over the years I have had many single adult friends say that the reason they don't like singles wards is because there are so many people in them, which makes it impossible not to fall through the cracks.

However, I have also heard this said about school and even work where the numbers of people differ. So, if it is not necessarily the number of people involved that brings this unwanted phenomenon about, then what is it that causes more and more people to feel this way? Even more important, how do we stop this from happening?

As I have pondered these two questions, I have come to the conclusion that it is not the environment, but rather the attitude and choices of the person involved which decided whether or not they "fall through the cracks" As they call it.

So, if it is in the individuals hands, then what can he or she do to keep this from happening? I have three suggestions:

1. Instead of waiting for others to seek you out to meet and get to know you, be the first to act.

Chances are that the other person feels the same way that you do. Imagine how many friends are just a smile and a friendly hello away.

2. When you join a new ward, don't wait to receive a calling and Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching assignment. Again, be proactive and go up to your new bishop and Elders Quorum/Relief Society President and ask to be given a calling and assignment right away.

Serving is not only a good way to make true and enduring friends, but is also a way to quickly find your place.

3. Participate in church Activities.

Church activities are a time and place to relax, and have fun. They are also a great place to mingle and get to know lots of people, who you usually see in passing at church.

Yes, all of these suggestions require one to be proactive and put themselves forward, but if you will do so there is no way you will get lost in the cracks.

“While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won't find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

I will always be grateful for the missionaries who taught my Father's family the gospel just before he was born, and for the missionaries who taught my mother and aunt the gospel when they were in their teens.

I cannot help but think that, if my parents had not been taught the gospel then:

- Mom and Dad would never have attended BYU, and subsequently they probably would have never met, and gotten married.

- I would have never been born nor my six other siblings. (And if I was born) My life would have been much different, and probably not for the better.

- Mom and Dad would have led drastically different lives, which would have affected what kind of parent they would have become.

Like I said, I will forever be grateful to these four amazing men. They each will hold a special place in my heart for the rest of my life.

Each one of these young men made the sacrifice to take two years out of the prime of their young adult lives to serve The Lord and their fellow men. It is not easy to leave your family, and friends to go far from home, forget about themselves, and think instead of God and their fellow men. They spent countless hours every day giving service wherever service was needed, teaching those who would receive them, and endlessly praying to God for guidance, inspiration, and help in their work.

But even before they left on their missions these young men paid the price to be worthy for the service they were called of God to give.

"Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men…" Doctrine and Covenants Section 121:34-35

Each of the young men also paid the price to be prepared to serve. This preparation is not something that can be done over night. It takes time, discipline, and desire to pay the price to follow the counsel given by the Lord to those who desire to teach His gospel.

"Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men." Doctrine and Covenants Section 11:21

Like these four young men who have so incredibly blessed my family through service, so many years ago, I am overjoyed every time I see another one of my young adult friends make the choice to live worthily, be prepared, and leave on missions of their own. For I know that there are so many out there in search of the gospel like Amos prophesied, and who as the Lord put it are kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.

"Now is the moment in the timetable of the Lord to carry the gospel farther than it has ever been carried before. . . . Many a person in this world is crying, knowingly and unknowingly, 'Come over . . . and help us.' He might be your neighbor. She might be your friend. He might be a relative. She might be someone you met only yesterday. But we have what they need. Let us take new courage from our studies and pray, as did Peter, 'And now, Lord, . . . grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word.' (Acts 4:29)" (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball [1982], 546)