Young Single Adults

It is common knowledge among my acquaintances that I have served a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka the Mormons). What is not commonly known is why. Many assume that I was one of those girls who had planned on serving for as long as they could remember. That is not the case.

The truth is, that where I honored and respected missionaries and the sacrifice they each make to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with our brothers and sisters throughout the world (who are just waiting to find it), I never thought to be one of them. At least I never thought to do so in my youth. I thought that if I ever did serve it would be someday far into my future with my husband after we had retired. Yes, I had my future all planned out.

However, God's plans for my future were a bit different. I wouldn't start to understand this until April Conference 2004. I had turned 21 (the requisite age for a young woman to serve a mission) the previous November. I was currently working to earn enough money to go back to school, though I was considering other options for the coming future.

I had prayed about all my many options every day, seeking direction. I felt as if there was something I needed to do, but I just didn't know what. And so was the state of my life, when General Conference rolled around.

All of Saturday I listened and prayed for God to reveal to me His will. It wasn't until Sunday morning that I received my answer. (I remember it as if it was yesterday) I shut myself in my bedroom and turned on the radio to listen to General Conference. I felt a need to be alone. It was Elder Dennis E. Simmons of the Quorum of the Seventy's talk, entitled But if Not, that opened the door to the answer I sought.

"Faith is not bravado, not just a wish, not just a hope. True faith is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ—confidence and trust in Jesus Christ that leads a person to follow Him… Our scriptures and our history are replete with accounts of God's great men and women who believed that He would deliver them, but if not, they demonstrated that they would trust and be true.

He has the power, but it's our test.

What does the Lord expect of us with respect to our challenges? He expects us to do all we can do. He does the rest. Nephi said, "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.

We must have the same faith as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego.

Our God will deliver us from ridicule and persecution, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from sickness and disease, but if not . . . . He will deliver us from loneliness, depression, or fear, but if not. . . . Our God will deliver us from threats, accusations, and insecurity, but if not. . . . He will deliver us from death or impairment of loved ones, but if not, . . . we will trust in the Lord." But if Not, Elder Dennis E. Simmons, April 2004 General Conference.

As I heard these words, I knew that God had been trying to answer me for a long time, but that in my fear of what He was asking of me, I had blocked out the answer. My Faith was weak. Truly humbled, I knelt down and offered a most sincere prayer to the Lord. In the past, I had included a mission as an option for my future, but only because I was 21 and not married, not because I wanted, or was even willing to go. This time as I prayed I told the Lord that if He would reveal to me His will I would follow it, even it that meant serving a mission, no matter my fears. I would trust in Him.

Before my prayer was ended, I knew with every part of my soul, that my answer was to serve a mission. I knew that I had promised before I came to Earth that I would do so, that I had a work to do. I still had fear's based on feelings of inadequacy that I wouldn't be able to do a good job. However, my trust (Faith) in the Lord finally outweighed my personal fears.

It was just moments after coming to this realization that there was a knock on my door. My father came in, and the first thing out of his mouth was asking me if I had seriously considered serving a mission. I told him yes, and then shared what had just occurred. It was then that he told me that months ago in his concern for me he had prayed and received the impression that I was supposed to serve a mission. He hadn't told me of this revelation for it was my choice. As he spoke, I felt a confirmation that it was right. I had my answer.

This morning when I woke up a scene from a favorite new movie came to mind. I have pondered this scene more then once since having seen it over a month ago, for it was quite the wake up call to me. Let me describe it to you:

Here you have a dashing prince. He has everything he could desire. Except his one true love, the other half of his soul, his one coquet, the one who was meant to finish his song. Yet what does he do about it? (Other then dream and talk about her to all his friends?) He finds ways to pass the time till she will fall into his lap so to speak. This way he doesn't feel so empty, or lonely in the mean time.

What the prince is unaware of is, the sad fact, that though he only intended his troll hunting to pass his time till the girl of his dreams fell into his lap, that his troll hunting was actually filling his time and keeping him from finding his one true love at all.

Like this prince, I have seen many of my friends fall into this same adversarial snare. They want to find their one true love, their other half, their Eternal Companion. They talk about this to their friends and family. They think and dream about it. They pray about it, and seek priesthood blessings about it. Yet this is where their effort stops.

I must admit that too often I have found myself in this category. I know that marriage is important. I know that we have been counseled by those in authority that,

"The most important single thing that any Latter-day Saint ever does in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority." Elder Bruce R. McConkie

I know this. Yet like the prince in the movie, and like many of my friends, I have found myself doing nothing tangible about it. No, we have been doing things to impede it, by filling our time with projects, hobbies, and entertainment thing that we are only passing the time till our one true love will suddenly appear in our lives and we can ride off into out Happily Ever After.

I have received my wake up call. (Even if it did come from watching a Disney movie) Now it is to put what I have learned in action.

1. I cannot just put my life on hold while waiting for my Prince Charming to appear. I need to move forward.

"If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may never have the opportunity for a suitable marriage in this life, so stop waiting and start moving." Dating Verses Hanging out, Ensign June 2006, Elder Dallin H. Oaks

2. I must be careful not to unrealistically fall for the first thing even resembling a prince that comes my way. What I need to determine what sort of man I wish to DATE and thus MARRY.

"Your chances for a happy and lasting marriage will be far greater if you will date those who are active and faithful in the Church. Such dating is most likely to lead to marriage in the House of the Lord." Four B's for Boys, /Ensign,/ Nov. 1981, President Gordon B. Hinckley

3. I need to determine if the things in my life are preparing me or preventing me for an Eternal Marriage, and being an instrument in the Hands of the Lord.

"Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don't wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Follow King Benjamin's advice to call 'on the name of the Lord daily, and [stand] steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come' (Mosiah 4:11)." Dating Verses Hanging out, Ensign June 2006, Elder Dallin H. Oaks

4. I need to have courage to act. To go out into the real world and meet people, to date (this means asking, and accepting where the spirit prompts), and to open myself up to form friendships, and relationships.

"Once you make a decision concerning whom you would desire to marry, may you have the courage to move forward." Whom Shall I Marry?, New Era October 2004, President Thomas S. Monson

I pray that we can all take these powerful lessons to heart. That we can set aside the distractions of the world, to prepare ourselves, seek, and find our Eternal Companions. That we may fulfill the measure of our creation, and find joy therein.

This last weekend was my little sister's wedding reception. My sister and her husband were actually married, in the Mount Timpanogos Temple, back in February, but since the engagement was so short (a matter of days not months) we set the reception for this last weekend to have some breathing room in our planning. This also allowed certain family members the opportunity to make it across country to attend the reception where they weren't able to attend the Sealing. (In the temple worthy couples are not just married “till death do you part,” but rather they are sealed together and to God for time and all eternity.)

The reception was beautiful, yet not as beautiful as my little sister. When I looked at her, dressed in all her wedding finery I saw the scripture in Proverbs come to life,

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life… Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-29

My sister is indeed a virtuous woman, like my mother, and Sarah and Eve before her. I could see this truth reflected in the eyes of her husband. I believe that he cherishes her, all the more, for it.

However, being the thoughtful and caring sort of person that she is, my sister wants me to find the same sort of happiness which she has found. Thinking of some of our conversations, when alone together of late, I am reminded of a similar conversation between two other close sisters,

``I am certainly the most fortunate creature that ever existed!' cried Jane. `Oh! Lizzy, why am I thus singled from my family, and blessed above them all! If I could but see you as happy! If there were but such another man for you!'

`If you were to give me forty such men, I never could be so happy as you. Till I have your disposition, your goodness, I never can have your happiness. No, no, let me shift for myself and, perhaps, if I have very good luck, I may meet with another Mr. Collins in time.'' (a conversation between Jane and Elizabeth Bennett in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice).

I often feel the same way. (Although not to the point of considering, one of the many, Mr. Collins' of my acquaintance) I am so happy for my beloved sister, and know that she wants the same happiness in return for me. Which is probably why she did what she did at the end of her reception.

It is common practice at the end of a wedding reception for all the eligible single women to gather together for the bouquet toss. The bride throws her bouquet and whoever catches it is said to be the next bride. In my 25 years I have been the lucky (?) maiden, to have caught the bouquet many times. To no effect I might say.

My sister feeling that her bouquet was special, decided that she would do a little maneuvering as to who would catch it. As the reception grew late, more then once a hopeful young woman would ask about when she was going to perform the bouquet toss. Each time my sister would reply soon and go back to what she was doing.

I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on, for I was enjoying conversing with dear friends and dancing with sweet nephews and cousins. I didn't realize what my little sister was plotting until she caught me at a moment where only men were around and called out my name. I turned just in time to be hit in the face by her wedding bouquet. As I looked up into her grinning face, I acknowledged her victory.

Who knows maybe this time the age old tradition will work and I will be the next to marry. I am sure I wouldn't mind it if it did turn out that way.

I have this bad habit. I don't think I had it as a child. I seem to have developed it in my youth, and it has only gotten worse as I have grown into single adulthood. What is this habit I am talking about? I am always trying to do too much. I put so much on my plate that I either can't do it all and then end up beating myself up over it. Or, I do manage to do it all, and get so burned out that I crash and am worthless for a period of time afterwards.

I am told that this is a problem that most women suffer from. As women, we naturally have a lot that we have to juggle in our lives. Even more so once we are married and have children and a household for which we are responsible. Maybe that is why God blessed us with the wonderful ability to multi-task. And yet the more I develop that ability, the worse this problem seems to become, not better. It seems as if the more I can handle the more I load myself down with things to do.

Sometimes I wonder if this is just what God expects of me, and that I just need to learn how to handle. But this isn't what God wants of his children, especially his daughters. President Gordon B. Hinckley the 15th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka the Mormons) said to the women of the church,

"I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass." President Gordon B. Hinckley

The Lord doesn't expect us to do more then we are able. He just wants us to do our best.

This requires us to prioritize our responsibilities and commitments to see what needs to be done now, and what can be done later. As President Hinckley once counseled, we can do everything, just not all at once. There is a proper time and season for everything. We need to use wisdom to see what the proper time, and the season for each responsibility in our life is.

This lesson was reemphasized in my mind the other night as I read in the Book of Mormon,

"And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order." Mosiah 4:27

I hope that we can all learn how to use wisdom and order in how we handle the responsibilities in our lives and that we can be diligent, and yet healthy in all we endeavor to do. I feel that this way, we can all win the prize.

It was so much fun playing that trivia game in preparation of General Conference last Monday night in the Single Ward's Family Home Evening (FHE). Even more, I found that just knowing more about these men, caused me to listen more intently to their words at Conference time. For though I know that what I heard was merely God's word spoken by the mouth of His chosen servants, I know that everything these men said, they not only believe, but they also live.

In my last post I shared facts about the First Presidency of the Church. Now in the spirit of getting to know these great men who have been called of God to lead this Church I would like to continue by sharing a few trivia facts that you may or may not have known before about the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormons):

President Boyd K. Packer (President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) is quite talented in woodcarving, and painting, and illustrating. At one time he even considered becoming a professional artist. You can see some of his work online as a past exhibit at the Church's Museum of History and Art.

Early on in his mission Elder L. Tom Perry felt that he needed more practice in teaching the gospel. So every night he would sneak down to the kitchen and practice teaching to the local mouse. The morning after he taught the discussion on Baptism by immersion, he discovered that in the night the mouse had drowned in a bowl of water.

While in college, Elder Russell M. Nelson's friends tried to convince him to try out as the leading man in the school musical; he claimed he was too busy. That was until he saw who the leading lady was to be. Three years later, Elder Nelson married that leading lady whose name was Dantzel White.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks was a boy when he found his interest in the radio while working as a sweep in a radio repair shop. He had earned his radio/telephone license before he was even sixteen. Later he became a regular announcer at a radio company. As a side note, Elder Oaks met his wife while he was announcing a high school basketball game.

Elder M. Russell Ballard had a hard time convincing his wife to marry him. According to him,

"She was not only beautiful, but had a sparkling personality. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to marry her, but she didn't share the same feelings. It was a little hard convincing her. I kid her now that getting her to marry me was the greatest sales job I ever did." (see Elder M. Russell Ballard: True to the Faith," Ensign, Mar. 1986)

Having graduated with a degree in business administration, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin became a very prominent businessman (in Salt Lake City, Utah), and even served as the president of a trade association in Utah before becoming a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

Having graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering, Elder Richard G. Scott went on to do his postgraduate work in Nuclear Engineering. He did much in this field. In the latter part of his career and before his call to the First Quorum of the Seventy, he acted as a private consultant in the nuclear industry.

With a love of baseball, and a very good arm, Elder Robert D. Hales became a great pitcher. He played on the school team while attending college at the University of Utah, until an injury ended his carrier.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was an All-American boy who loved sports of every kind. In High School, he lettered in football, basketball, track, and baseball.

Growing up in a home where his mother was not particularly active and his father was not even a member, Elder David A. Bednar held true to his faith. Later in his life after having faithfully served a full-time mission for the church, Elder Bednar had the privilege of being able to baptize his own father.

Elder Quentin L. Cook was once taken out to lunch by some of the partners of the Law firm he had just applied to work at. During this meal, the senior partner offered him an alcoholic drink. Both times he declined. The second time He did so, Elder Cook informed the senior partner that he did not drink because he was a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormons). Elder Cook did receive an offer from that law firm. Then months later that same senior partner confided that the alcohol was a test, for he has seen on the resume that Elder Cook had served an LDS mission, and had determined to hire him only if Elder Cook was true to the teachings of his church. (See Called to Serve: Elder Quentin L. Cook, November 2007 New Era)

*Elder D. Todd Christofferson our newest Apostle graduated with a Bachelors degree from BYU and then graduated with a law degree from Duke University. During the Watergate Controversy, Elder Christofferson was working as a clerk for Judge John Sirica in Washington D.C. When asked about this time He remarked that,

"It was a unique way to start a legal career," he said. "It gave me, interestingly enough, a great deal of added faith in government. I saw there in action many, many good people who did the right thing and restored the equilibrium and constitutional balance of the United States." New LDS Apostle, an ex-lawyer, anxious to serve By Peggy Fletcher Stack and Jessica Ravitz, The Salt Lake Tribune

I hope you all enjoyed these fun and interesting facts regarding these most amazing men who have been called of God, to be Prophets, Seers, and Revelators, whom we are so blessed to have. I encourage all to learn more about these General Authorities of the Church, and in doing so read the messages they have delivered to us from God. If we will listen to their words and apply them in our lives then we will be blessed in more ways then we can now imagine.

Right now my calling in my Singles Ward is to be a member of the Family Home Evening committee. This means that I help plan our weekly F.H.E., for the singles adults, who would not have the opportunity to attend in with their family or roommates. Normally, our Family Home Evenings consist of a lesson, an activity, socializing, and a treat. Our numbers fluctuate every week, (we could have anywhere from five to 45 singles) so our actives have to be flexible.

Prior to General Conference coming this last weekend, last week's Family Home Evening activity and lesson was combined. We (the Family Home Evening Committee) thought that it could be fun to prepare for General Conference by having a trivia game to get to know the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and First Presidency of the Church.

To prepare for our game we set up fourteen chairs in a line and taped the names of each of the members of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve (I left one seat blank in honor of our new Apostle who would be presented to us the upcoming weekend). Then we broke into two teams. Every round, each team had to choose someone to stand behind the tape on the floor, a short distance from the chairs. A trivia fact would be read, and the representative from each team would have to run and sit down in the chair with the name of the Apostle or Prophet whom the trivia fact was about. With much laughing and fun we explored the lives if these Fourteen amazing men of God.

In the spirit of getting to know these amazing men, here are a few trivia facts that you may or may not have known before about the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormons):

President Thomas S. Monson first met his wife, while attending a "Hello Dance" at the University of Utah. (See October 2004 New Era, The Message: Whom Shall I Marry? By President Thomas S. Monson)

President Henry B. Eyring's father was the brother of the late President Spencer W. Kimball's wife. Making President Eyring the nephew of the twelfth President of the Church.

Though President Dieter F. Uchtdorf is known as our German Apostle, he was actually born in Czechoslovakia.

Due to the size of this post I have broken it into two posts. Read FHE Conference Trivia Night Part 2 to learn about the incredible men who form the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.