Young Single Adults

I have heard many of my single adult friends complain about their parents seeming interfere with their life. Indeed I have heard the comments, "Why can't my parents just leave me alone?", or "Why can't they acknowledge that I am an adult?", or "If only they would stay out of my life."

I must admit that a time or three I used to feel that way, as well. As an adult I felt the need to spread my wings and independently fly. Part of becoming an adult was to be independent isn't it? It was my right and responsibility to think and act of myself (and live with the consequences.) Besides my parent's responsibility toward me was over, wasn't it?

I finally came to realize how unjust and immature I was being. It was pride and misunderstanding that stood in my way of accepting their wisdom, counsel, and involvement in my life. What I needed to realize was that my parents will never outlive their responsibility toward me, their child. President Ezra Taft Benson the 13th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormons)taught,

"Fathers and certainly mothers too, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released. … A father's calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity." To the Fathers in Israel,Ensign, Nov. 1987, Ezra Taft Benson

Where parents will never outlive their responsibilities as parents, when their children grow into adulthood, their parental roles do change. This can be difficult to adjust to on both sides. This merely necessitates more love and understanding.

"While parental responsibility never ceases, it does change. After the birth of a child, parents provide for the baby's every need. As the child grows, the amount of parental involvement decreases. Over time, the degree of involvement becomes harder for parents to determine. By the time children have reached adulthood, the complexity of determining the timing, extent, and direction of parental involvement in children's lives sometimes causes parents to give up. As a result, they either assume a very passive role or stop those relationships altogether. When this happens, everybody loses. Parents feel alienated from their children's lives and activities, and the children lose opportunities to draw on the wisdom their parents have accumulated through years of experience." July 2006 Ensign, Families Are Forever—and So Is Parenthood, By Garth Hanson and Steve Hanson

As we realize that our parents are trying to adjust to this new role they have in our lives, (which is not easy for them) and recognize that their actions stem from love toward us, then we can have more patience and understanding toward them.

There is still much that we can learn from our parents. There always will be. This is a great blessing to us. In closing I would like to remind all my single adult friends that as we learn how to adjust to our relationship with our parents, it is important for us to remember that being an adults, doesn't void God's commandment to always,

"Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee." Deuteronomy 5:16

Late one night while, sitting around the campfire, at our last Singles Ward Relief Society campout, (we have one at least once a year) the question arose of what our greatest pet peeves were.

Some of the sisters claimed that they had no pet peeves for nothing bothered them. I must not be as perfected as they are yet, for I most definitely have some. I found myself nodding my head when some of my sisters answered,

-When someone chews with their mouth open

-Couples making out in public

-When someone is always putting them self down

-When couples are always putting down their other half

-Gossip, crudeness, or general meanness

When it finally came my time to answer, I had to stop and think for a moment. What is my greatest pet peeve? For, though these things may annoy me, I can normally, but not always, brush them off. Yet there is one thing that bothers me to no end. What is that? Cell phones in church or during important meetings.

Being a young single adult, I see this all too often. It is a common thing to hear the request at the beginning of a movie, class, or meeting to, "Please turn off your cell phone!" And yet then invariably sometime during the said event someone's cell phone goes off. When this happens the person with the cell phone always feels embarrassed and normally doesn't even answer the call, but instead fumbles with their phone to stop the ringing. However by that time, the person speaking has already been interrupted, and the rest of the audience distracted.

I have heard it referred to as an addiction of having to know who wants to speak to you as the reason why some people never turn their cell phone off, not even at church where they specifically ask you to do so. Today it is not just phones ringing that are a distraction in church, but the constant texting that is going on.

In a message given in the August 2007 New Era about texting and cell phones Russell and Brad Wilcox said,

"Like all communication tools, cell phones with text messaging capabilities can be positive or negative depending on how they are used. Stories can be told of a texted birthday greeting that made someone's day or a disaster that was avoided because someone was warned quickly and effectively in a text message. Still, not-so-positive stories can also be told of teenagers texting their friends during Sunday School or seminary lessons, of people being hurt by the content of a message received, or, …of people avoiding or disregarding those around them in favor of texting someone else." Keep Texting from Taking Over, Russell and Brad Wilcox

Two Sundays ago one of our high councilors in our Stake, issued a challenge to all of us Single Adults in his talk about preparing for our upcoming General Conference. He challenged us to turn off our cell phones during Conference this year. This wise high councilor said that though it is nice to know who wants to speak to us that at conference time we know who wants to speak to us. For the Lord said that,

"What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same." Doctrine and Covenants 1:38

At conference time the Lord is trying to speak to us. The words that will be spoken by the Prophet, Apostles, and General Authorities of the church, are really the words of the Lord. And the message He wants to give us will bless us more than any message we could receive from one of our earthly friends. This is the same for our regular church meetings, however if this is too big a step, then I challenge my readers to start with General Conference (the coming weekend) and see what a difference it makes.

A number of years ago when I first joined my stake singles ward, I had a Relief Society Lesson that changed my life. I no longer recall all the details of the lesson, but there is one part that I will never forget.

The sister who was teaching Relief Society that Sunday, was a nurse. She works with babies, specifically premature ones. She told us that part of her responsibility was to visit the babies in their home after they were released from the hospital to give them checkups etc… Normally she enjoyed these checkups, but there was one home she always dreaded to go. It was a small home, and the only surface she could lay the baby upon to do the check up was a small coffee table in the front living room. Normally this wouldn't bother her, except that the parents always had the TV on and what they were watching was not something she ever wanted stored in her mind.

For weeks she struggled to just keep her head down and focus on the baby to get through the checkup as fast as she could and then leave. Yet, no matter how hard she concentrated, she could not block out what was being shown just a foot away from her head. Her quiet humming could block out the noise, but somehow no matter how hard she tried there she would always leave with at least one more unwanted image ingrained in her mind.

Then one morning while studying The Book of Mormon, she came across a powerful verse of scripture:

"And they pitched their tents round about the temple, every man having his tent with the door thereof towards the temple, that thereby they might remain in their tents and hear the words which King Benjamin should speak unto them." Mosiah 2:6

In her study that day my friend cross-referenced that scripture with this scripture,

"Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom." Genesis 13:12

What an amazing difference the direction of their tents made in the lives of these two people. The first people pitched their tents toward the Temple of God, and the Lord's Prophet and they were greatly blessed because of it in so many ways. However, Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom, and the world, and in the end he lost everything including his wife.

After reading these two scriptures, my friend made a decision in how to handle this difficult circumstance. The next time she went to do the checkup, instead of just bending her head, she repositioned herself so that her back was to the TV all together. She said that this made all the difference in the world.

At this point she told us that we all have a choice to make. It was up to us to decide which direction we were going to pitch our tents in our lives. She reminded us that right now, in our single lives, we have the most freedom to rearrange the direction of our tents if needed. Later on when we have more permanently established our lives with our spouse and children it will be much more difficult to do so.

I must admit, that I am an avid reader. So much so that I have on more than one occasion been called a bookworm. When I was a child (when I first started really reading,) one of my favorite book series, was Choose Your Own Adventure. In these books, there were many moments of decision. The reader would have to make a choice of action, which would send him/her to a designated page to continue the story. Each choice made had a drastic effect to the outcome of the adventure story.

Like these children's adventure books, we all have moments of decision in our lives. In these moments the choices we make have a drastic effect on the outcome to our own life story.

Some of our important choices we can make while we are young, so that when the moment of decision comes in our young adult lives, the choice is already made. Some of these decisions include:

What moral standards will I live by?

Whom will I serve? (The Lord)

Where will I marry? (The Temple)

What habits do I want to break and/or establish?

However other important choices must be made right then in the years of Young Single Adulthood, like:

What education should I gain to provide for my future?

Whom should I date?

Whom should I marry?

Knowing the importance and impact these choices will have in our lives, some young adults try to avoid making them, but that in itself is a choice.

"Some of our important choices have a time line. If we delay a decision, the opportunity is gone forever. Sometimes our doubts keep us from making a choice that involves change. Thus, an opportunity may be missed. As someone once said, "When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that in itself is a choice." Choices, President James E. Faust, Liahona, May 2004

Yet, our Father in Heaven tells us that we have no need to fear. He has given us the tools necessary to be able to make the right choices with confidence, and peace. What tools are we given?

First, He has given us the great example of His Son Jesus Christ. By looking at the Savior’s life and following His example we can know the sort of life to live. When we know the general sort of life we should live to receive happiness, we definitely know what sort of choices we should make to keep in line with that sort of life.

Second, we have the Holy Scriptures and a Living Prophet who are given to us that we may receive guidance and direction in every aspect of our lives.

Third, we have been given the gift of the Holy Ghost to be our companion to guide and direct us in our lives. When we are in tune and obedient to His still small voice, we never have to fear making the wrong choices.

Now, sometimes we do make mistakes. The Lord knew we would. That is why He sent His Only Begotten Son to bring about the Atonement. Alma explained this in the Book of Mormon when he taught:

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me." Alma 7:11-13

In knowing all this, let us take new courage in facing these most important choices in our lives by applying all the tools that God has given us to insure our happiness and eternal joy.

I have been blessed in knowing how to be wise in my financial stewardships. I learned how to be from my parents when I was still a small child. My parents taught me to be both imaginative and industrious in finding honest ways to earn money while growing up.

Once I earned money, I was taught that the FIRST thing I needed to do (first as in before anything else) was to set aside 10% to the Lord in tithing. After all, everything I have, I received from the Lord, and all He asks for in return is 10% to be used in the building of His kingdom.

Next, I was taught to set aside money into short-term and long-term savings. The short-term savings allowed me to think ahead so that I could pay for things of value, and also cover emergencies so that I would be able to avoid having to use credit and incurring debt. This is important for debt is not something you want to get caught up in.

"Some forms of credit, such as credit cards, have particularly high interest rates. Once you are in debt, you find that interest has no mercy. It continues to accumulate, regardless of your situation—whether you are employed or jobless, healthy or sick. It never goes away until the debt is paid. Do not be deceived by credit offers, even if they make debt seem attractive by promising low interest rates or no interest for a certain period of time." Debt, True to The Faith

The long-term savings is basically setting aside for my future retirement. For it is smart to start doing so while you are still young. The sooner you can retire the better. Normally I set aside 10% into each of these funds.

Then I was taught (mostly by example) to set aside money for those in need. Normally, the Lord blesses us so that we in turn can bless those around us. I love King Benjamin's discourse, in the Book of Mormon, on taking care of the needy.

"And also, ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.

Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—

But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?" Mosiah 4:16-19

Again, I usually set aside 10% to give in philanthropy whether through once-a-month fast offerings, or wherever I see a need. Somehow there is always enough to do so, and take care of my needs, as well.

My remaining funds were mine to do with as I pleased. However, I was warned by my parents as the Prophet Nephi warned his people more than two thousand years ago,

"Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy." 2 Nephi 9:51

I was warned that when I grew older that I would have financial obligations in the form of bills which I would have to pay out of that remaining 60% of my earnings. Yet, if I practiced wisdom in my spending and sacrificed a few of my temporary wants to stay out of debt and live within my income that I would be blessed with peace of mind, and that I would have nothing to fear in the financial storms that would come my way.

"Look to the condition of your finances. Discipline yourself in your purchases, avoiding debt to the extent you can. In most cases, you can avoid debt by managing your resources wisely. If you do incur debt, such as a reasonable amount in order to purchase a modest home or complete your education, work to repay it as quickly as possible and free yourself from bondage. When you have paid your debts and accumulated some savings, you will be prepared for financial storms that may come your way. You will have shelter for your family and peace in your heart" Debt, True to The Faith

I am so grateful that I was taught this while still in my childhood. I have been blessed with much peace and security in handling my finances as I was taught. Many of my single adult friends either were not taught as I was, or chose not to follow the teachings of their parents on this subject. Because of this, they are in major debt, and live paycheck to paycheck, never knowing how they will make ends meet, from month to month, and they dare not even think of how this debt would affect a new marriage.

For those who are in the same financial difficulties as many of my friends, I would say to you, "Don't give up!" It may be difficult, but there is a way to free yourself from your financial bondage. There is a great article in the July 2002 Ensign entitled Climbing Out of Debt. I encourage you to read it and apply the counsel given therein.

Over the years I have had many single adult friends say that the reason they don't like singles wards is because there are so many people in them, which makes it impossible not to fall through the cracks.

However, I have also heard this said about school and even work where the numbers of people differ. So, if it is not necessarily the number of people involved that brings this unwanted phenomenon about, then what is it that causes more and more people to feel this way? Even more important, how do we stop this from happening?

As I have pondered these two questions, I have come to the conclusion that it is not the environment, but rather the attitude and choices of the person involved which decided whether or not they "fall through the cracks" As they call it.

So, if it is in the individuals hands, then what can he or she do to keep this from happening? I have three suggestions:

1. Instead of waiting for others to seek you out to meet and get to know you, be the first to act.

Chances are that the other person feels the same way that you do. Imagine how many friends are just a smile and a friendly hello away.

2. When you join a new ward, don't wait to receive a calling and Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching assignment. Again, be proactive and go up to your new bishop and Elders Quorum/Relief Society President and ask to be given a calling and assignment right away.

Serving is not only a good way to make true and enduring friends, but is also a way to quickly find your place.

3. Participate in church Activities.

Church activities are a time and place to relax, and have fun. They are also a great place to mingle and get to know lots of people, who you usually see in passing at church.

Yes, all of these suggestions require one to be proactive and put themselves forward, but if you will do so there is no way you will get lost in the cracks.

“While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won't find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey

Instead of attending a regular institute class at the nearby college, I usually opt to attend the once a week class put on by our stake. However, not to long ago I went with a visiting friend to two institute classes at the college. Where both classes were wonderful, I felt to write about the second class. I had never attended a dating and courtship class before (it's a matter of principle) but my friend insisted. I must say I was wonderfully surprised for it was nothing as I expected.

The lesson that day was on a topic I found most intriguing. It was on The Traditions of Our Fathers. The class started with the question, "What traditions are you going to continue or start with your future family?"

Normally when I think of traditions, I think of holiday activities. Yet, as I listened to my fellow students answer, my eyes were opened and began to realize that traditions go far beyond that. Here are a few of the Traditions mentioned:

-The Tradition to have weekly Family Home Evening

-The Tradition of daily personal and Family Prayer

-The Tradition of daily personal and Family Scripture Study

-The Tradition of telling your spouse and Children that you Love Them

-The Tradition of Family Dinner

-The Tradition of going to the Temple

-The Tradition of Modesty in how you dress and how you dress your children

In the class discussion we were told how powerful good traditions can be in the lives of our future children. Elder Donald L. Hallstrom of the Quorum of the Seventy reaffirmed this when he said,

"Of traditions which are complementary to the gospel of Jesus Christ, Paul admonished the Thessalonians, "Therefore, … stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught" (2 Thes. 2:15). In the Church, powerful traditions remind us of the strength and sacrifice of our ancestors and inspire our efforts. Among them are industry, frugality, and complete devotion to a righteous cause. Others are based on doctrine and standards which may seem peculiar to the world but are consistent with God's pattern. These include chaste behavior, modesty of dress, unpolluted language, Sabbath observance, adherence to the Word of Wisdom, and the payment of tithes… Uplifting traditions play a significant role in leading us toward the things of the Spirit. Those that promote love for Deity and unity in families and among people are especially important." Cultivate Righteous Traditions, Elder Donald L. Hallstrom

There are many blessings that come from establishing righteous traditions in our home. In the April 1990 General Conference, Elder Parry mentioned a few of them,

"If we will build righteous traditions in our families, the light of the gospel can grow ever brighter in the lives of our children from generation to generation. We can look forward to that glorious day when we will all be united together as eternal family units to reap the everlasting joy promised by our Eternal Father for His righteous children." April General Conference 1990, Family Traditions, Elder L. Tom Perry

Likewise if we fail to establish good traditions in our home, or establish bad traditions our families will be at the mercy of the world and all that such a thing brings with it. With that said I have many friends who were not raised in homes with good traditions. They have experienced the bad side of traditions and have had to fight to overcome them, and look for the examples of good traditions which God will bring into their life.

Sometimes God sends us into homes with good traditions, which we then are responsible for carrying them on. Other times God sends the example of good traditions into our lives that we may break the chain of bad traditions which we have been raised with and establish good traditions in our future home.

The time to decide what traditions you want to establish in your future home is now. That way, we can establish them from the start when it will be much easier to do so. Thus, we come back to that original question presented at the start of the class, "What traditions are you going to continue or start with your future family?"

Once we answer that question, then we can, and must, determine if we should begin the decided upon traditions right now or if we must write them down somewhere safe so that when it is the proper time and place we can implement them.

I am glad that I went to that Institute class with my friend. It gave me much to think about. I know that what was taught was true. It is vital that we as singles turn our thoughts and hearts to our future families and decide what traditions we will establish in our home that we may be good spouses and parents. That our families will be strong, and protected against the influences of the world, and stand the test of time

How often do we listen to our religious leaders, (Bishopric members, Stake Presidencies, General Authorities) and think to ourselves that it was meant for the person sitting next to us, or across from us, or down the row from us, but certainly not us? How often do we tell ourselves that the bit of counsel given just doesn't apply? So then, we toss it out of our head as quickly as it entered?

Maybe this happens more among the singles of the church for much of the advice is given to fathers, mothers or families in general. In which case it is much easier to decide that the counsel has nothing to do with us, then to look and see how it could apply. Sigh . . .

"...I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning..." 1 Nephi 19:23

As Nephi did for the scriptures, so to can (and should) we do for all the counsel from the Lord. For if we do not do so, I know we will miss out on many great blessings. This truth was brought home to me once through the experience of a dear friend.

Last year in Stake Conference, our Stake Presidency reiterated the need to get out of debt, set aside money for rainy days, and then they said wherever your food storage is add another six months worth to it. Upon coming home from the meetings that day, my dear friend resolved to follow the counsel given. This was not an easy feat. My friend is 28, single, and living away from home. Where she had a decent job, she had a lot of debt (between credit cards and car). How was she to pay all that off, set aside money for the future, and acquire (let alone figure out where to put it in a small apartment) six months of food storage, when she was barely getting by on what she was making?

With these grave concerns in mind, yet the firm decision to obey in her heart, my friend went to her knees in prayer. She asked the Lord to help, then got up and went to work. For months she worked hard, sacrificed, and continually prayed. And do you know what? She did it! By the end of last year, she was totally debt free, had money in the back, and food stashed away. How grateful she was that she had followed the Stake President's counsel, a few weeks later when she was unexpectedly laid off work.

Though unsure how long her unemployment would last, my friend was not afraid. She had listened to and had obeyed the counsel from her leaders, and she was prepared. Not having to worry about payments due on either credit cards, or car payments was such a relief to her in this time. Knowing she had enough food to last her for six months if necessary gave her peace. Having money in the bank to cover rent, gas, and even fast offerings (to help others in need) made it possible for her to go on as if all in life were normal until she could find another job.

As one week melded into another, I grew more and more concerned for the welfare of my dear friend. I knew that she was out of work, and though she was actively looking for employment, she was finding nothing. One day I voiced my concern to her to which she quoted the scripture,

"...if ye are prepared ye shall not fear . . . "
Doctrine and Covenants 38:30

That was when she shared with me her story and how she had followed the counsel of her leaders and because of this she was prepared. Though her funds were getting lower and she did need to find another job soon, in the mean time she was okay. (I am happy to report that a few days ago my dear friend received an unexpected phone call that resulted in a job offer. This new job was even better then the one she had lost over a month ago.)

As illustrated though the example of my friend, the Lord wants us to be prepared, so that we can live free of fear. This is why we have living Prophets, Apostles, and Priesthood Leaders. They call us to repentance, come unto Christ, and they are the watchmen on the tower who can see afar off to warn us of danger. When we heed their warning call, we will be able to meet what life brings our way with happiness and peace, not fear and regret.

A few days ago, Gordon B. Hinckley, President and prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, died. I was sitting with some close friends when I got the phone call, informing me of his death. When I related to my friends what had just occurred silence rang in the air. As I looked around our small group, I saw many teary eyes, and contemplative faces.

I cannot begin to describe with words alone how much President Hinckley has come to mean to me in my life. I will hold in my heart, love, honor, and gratitude for this man for the rest of my life.

I was in my youth when he became Prophet, which is probably why President Hinckley has had such a powerful impact in my life. I still remember sitting in an audience full of youth when he prayed to God on our behalf. I remember watching the newly filmed "Special Witnesses of Christ" and hearing/seeing him, as well as, the rest of the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles bare solemn witness of the life, divinity, and purpose of the Lord Jesus Christ. He was always concerned with the youth, young single adults in the church, and the world in general. I remember countless talks given in hope to strengthen, inspire, and guide us in becoming all we were created to be. One of my favorite talks was when he gave us the six B's (later added three more) to live by.

Many times in my life (often by single adults) I have been asked the question, "Why do we need a Prophet on the earth?" When faced with this sincere, valid question I would try to explain that for me a living Prophet was a sign of a loving and caring God. A prophet is a man called of God, to declare His word, to sound His warning, and to stand as His witness to draw all men closer to Christ.

When I would share this, often my friends would point out that we have scripture containing the word of God, which brings us unto Christ. Why do we need more? On once such occasion when faced with these questions, my mind turned back to a lesson my mother had taught me years ago, when I was a small child. The lesson strangely enough had to do with lighthouses.

I have always been enchanted with the concept of the lighthouse, and yet confused at the same time. I would picture a stormy night, and a ship lost at sea trying to find a safe harbor. Then right as he is about to give up, the captain sees a powerful light cutting through the darkness. He knows land and safety are near. This is where my understanding and thus imagination always faltered. Just because he knows that land is near, doesn't mean he is safe. How can one light help him to navigate the dangerous reefs and find the one way into the safe harbor? Knowing my mother had grown up in Hawaii near Pearl Harbor, I thought she might have an answer. She did. You see there are two lights she told me. The first is the lighthouse's light, which is powerful enough to cut through the darkness and warn that land was near. However, I was right that one light would not have the ability to guide the ship safely into the waiting harbor. That was the job of the second light that was always placed high up on a hill. Once the Captain spots the first light, he would immediately search for the second light. When he finds it, all he has to do is line the two lights up and he is shown the path cut through the deadly reefs that leads directly into the waiting harbor.

This story taught me why I need a prophet. We are like a ship lost on the tumultuous sea of life trying to find our way safely home to God's waiting harbor. In the midst of the stormy darkness we cannot see our way through the dangerous reef to the harbor. We cannot even see if we are heading in the right direction toward land. If we don't receive help soon, we will be lost for good. I picture the Spirit of God as that powerful lighthouse. The light of The Spirit cuts through the darkness and brings hope that land is near. Then we see that second light upon the hill, which I picture, as the Prophet. This light is not to replace the lighthouse's light, but to be used in accordance with the lighthouse, to illuminate the only safe path into the harbor.

I am thankful for the blessing of a living Prophet of God, who as he stands in accordance with the Holy Spirit, shows me that safe pathway home. I can now traverse the oceans of life with confidence, hope, and peace.

All these thoughts went through my mind the moment I was informed of President Hinckley’s death. I felt sorrow, for I will miss him more than I can say. However, soon I felt peace and joy, because I know that President Hinckley lived a full life, and is now reunited with many loved ones, including his dear wife, Marjorie. There was no concern because I know that the next Prophet will be called of God and has been prepared to take President Hinckley's place, as the living Prophet of God, on the Earth. He will be just as inspired, and just as worthy to fulfill such a heavy responsibility. I am sure that like Joshua, who followed Moses, God will be with our new Prophet.

I've been thinking a lot about testimonies recently, and of the power in a few simple, honest, sincere words. For those who are unfamiliar with the word, it is described as a spiritual witness that has been given by the Holy Ghost, or Holy Spirit as others may call it.

Gordon B. Hinckley, who was the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints until January 27th when he died, had a very strong testimony. He'd been told in a special priesthood blessing, called a Patriarchal Blessing, that the very nations of this earth would hear his voice. Not only that, but through his testimony many would come to know the truth of gospel of Jesus Christ. He was only eleven at the time.

Can you even begin to imagine what his thoughts must have been over the years as he mused over these promises? Many of us might wish our own passionate words might help to bring others to the light of Christ. President Hinckley was promised, by the Lord, that if he lived righteously this very thing would happen.

Shortly after he left his mission for the Mormon Church he had the opportunity to share his testimony in London, Berlin, Paris, and Washington D.C. He was fairly certain he had fulfilled the promise in that short time. As he puts it:

"That proved to be a mere scratching of the surface. Since then I have lifted my voice on every continent, in cities large and small, all up and down from north to south and east to west across this broad world—from Cape Town to Stockholm, from Moscow to Tokyo to Montreal, in every great capital of the world. It is all a miracle" (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Seek Ye the Kingdom of God,” Ensign, May 2006).

A remarkable thing about someone bearing their testimony is that the testimony only grows stronger. We can move from saying, "I believe Jesus Christ lived" to saying with a firm knowledge "I know Jesus Christ lived." A testimony comes through study, prayer, and a sincere desire to know the truth.

You may be wondering why I've posted this in the Singles section of this blog. For most of our growing up years we are heavily influenced by our parents, other family members, church leaders and general community. They help to shape our standards, values, and outlook on life. There comes a time when we must make a break and decide for ourselves which path we will follow. The time must come for us to continue our lives beyond the home where we grew up.

I myself had to gain a personal testimony of this Church. I couldn't rely on that of my parents or leaders any longer. As I knelt to pray I had no way of knowing how my prayer would be answered. That was over 15 years ago. I have never forgotten what happened that day (if you'd like to read of my experience go to "Laurie Walker - Converted to the Mormon Church at 17").

We can all have a testimony. It is not something only given to those of the Mormon Church. Anyone who sincerely desires to know the truth of Jesus Christ, of God the Father, of our purpose here on earth, of Joseph Smith, of the Book of Mormon, of this Church can receive an answer. We are promised this in both the Bible and in the Book of Mormon, both scriptural witnesses of Jesus Christ.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" (James 1:5).

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things" (Moroni 10:4-5).

Gordon B. Hinckley had a firm testimony of the truth regarding the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I'd like to leave you with a small portion of his words given in the May 2006 Ensign Magazine.

"Now, in conclusion, I hope that all of you will remember that on this Sabbath day you heard me bear my witness that this is God’s holy work. The vision given the Prophet Joseph in the grove of Palmyra was not an imaginary thing. It was real. It occurred in the broad light of day. Both the Father and the Son spoke to the boy. He saw Them standing in the air above him. He heard Their voices. He gave heed to Their instruction.

It was the resurrected Lord who was introduced by His Father, the great God of the universe. For the first time in recorded history, both the Father and the Son appeared together to part the curtains and open this, the last and final dispensation, the dispensation of the fulness of times.

The Book of Mormon is all that it purports to be—a work recorded by prophets who lived anciently and whose words have come forth "to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations" (Book of Mormon title page).

The priesthood has been restored under the hands of John the Baptist and Peter, James, and John. All the keys and authority pertaining to eternal life are exercised in this Church.

Joseph Smith was and is a prophet, the great Prophet of this dispensation. This Church, which carries the name of the Redeemer, is true.

I leave you my testimony, my witness, and my love for each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Gordon B. Hinckley, president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon Church), had a secretary who just seemed to be in a rotten mood. He asked if there was anything he could do, and she promptly burst into tears.

Turns out that particular day she had turned 35, and felt as though she had nothing to show for it. In her eyes, she was a failure. To this President Hinckley said:

"So, you’re thirty-five? Happy birthday! According to actuarial tables you have more years ahead of you than you have behind you. Now with all you’ve learned over these thirty-five years, you can build and grow and live a wonderful and productive and happy life. Lift your head. Smile and be happy and go forward” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “To Single Adults,” Ensign, Jun 1989).

There are so many people out there who need you. There are so many burdens to lift. You never know when some experience you have had or a gift you possess may be the only thing that can help another through a difficult time. Isn't it extraordinary to think that you might be the tool our Heavenly Father uses to help bring another of His children back to Him? Or perhaps you may be the one person who can help keep someone from falling off the right path.

We are in a world where wickedness abounds, and yet our one voice can be a light to those who struggle. Who can we help to lift above the darkness?

"There are the homeless, there are the hungry, there are the destitute all around us. There are the aged who are alone in rest homes. There are handicapped children, and youth on drugs, and the sick and the homebound who cry out for a kind word. If you do not do it, who will?" (Gordon B. Hinckley, “To Single Adults,” Ensign, Jun 1989).

The funny thing is, you never know where you may find your greatest source of joy until you try. When I was asked to be a teacher over the Young Women (teen girls 12-17 in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), I was terrified at first. It took a few months before I realized how passionate I feel about leading these strong, vibrant spirits! I've been in the Young Women program for over five years now, and I still feel that incredible force to help them rise above the life Satan would have for them.

There is a hymn that brilliantly depicts what our attitudes should be.

"Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone's burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

There are chances for work all around just now,
Opportunities right in our way.
Do not let them pass by, saying, "Some day I'll try,"
But go and do something today.
'Tis noble of man to work and to give;
Love's labor has merit alone.
Only he who does something helps others to live.
To God each good work will be know."
(Will L. Thompson)

There is so much to be gained in this life if we will put ourselves into blessing the lives of others. There are opportunities to serve that pass by us every single day. If we will take those gifts God has given us, and the lessons we have learned through our life experiences, we can do so much to make the world a brighter, better place.

In the same talk mentioned above, President Hinckley spoke of Florence Nightengale. A young, single woman, no one could have imagined the extraordinary work she would make happen in her lifetime. Even though she was born to wealthy parents, Florence would not be satisfied with the life her station urged. Instead she began to visit hospitals where she saw so many suffering under inadequate care. These sights encouraged her to become a nurse, and worked hard enough to become a superintendant of a hospital in London.

It was at this time she, and thirty-eight other nurses, went to serve in the Crimean War. Under their incredible care thousands of soldiers were saved. She was declared a heroine.

She was one person, who had a gift for healing, a tender heart, and a strong spirit.

Now I'm not saying we should all aspire to change the world in some magnificent way. But isn't it just as important to change someone's world, even in a small way? A hug, a hello, or a listening ear; a few anonymously donated dollars; a dinner; a lawn mowed or a walkway shoveled; a note written, or perhaps a simple smile. You never know what act will help one of God's children to make it through another day.

Say a prayer today, and ask God to help you do some good.

It’s not the easiest thing being single during the Christmas Season. As one friend pointed out, “If I don’t have any family to visit on Christmas, or no plans with friends that day, I get these looks from people that show just how sad they are for me.”

This friend has spent several years on her own during the holiday season and quite loves it. “It helps to keep the true meaning of Christmas. I can celebrate in my own way. This way includes more of the spiritual side, rather than the material.”

I became quite excited at her words, thinking, “Hooray – a subject for the Singles section of the Blog!”

Now is a fantastic time for you to start creating your own Christmas traditions. This can feel daunting, especially when you’re not sure where to start. I’d suggest looking at your childhood.

My first December away from home I discovered something missing. In our dorm room we’d put up some lights, decorated our door, and started thinking of cheap presents to give to one another. For me something was just not right. I couldn’t figure out what that something was until I went home over Winter Break: the Osmonds.

Are you thinking, “Huh?” Let me explain. Every Christmas my mother would pull out her Christmas CD’s, and the first one she’d play without fail was the “Osmond Family Christmas.” I found it disturbing, as I’d hated listening to it as a teen. Resigned, I went ahead and bought the CD just so I could listen to the first strains of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” That’s it. I didn’t need to go any further. Once I did that no start to the Christmas season has ever felt incomplete.

Another tradition I carried over from my youth was “The Forgotten Carols” by Michael McLean. It’s both a book and CD put together, though each can be enjoyed on their own. When I’d left home I specifically asked to have both for my birthday so that I could enjoy the beautiful and unusual way it brought the Spirit into my life. It depicts several accounts of secondary characters from the Nativity Story. I still listen to it every December. Though it is written by an LDS* songwriter it can truly be enjoyed by anyone wishing to bring in the Spirit of Christmas.

Once you’ve found a few treasured traditions from your youth, look to those around you for new discoveries. What do your friends, roommates, and neighbors enjoy doing that you’d like to begin as well. One of my friends told of how her parents would wrap up a few of their presents and leave others unwrapped. I loved that idea and wanted to carry it on into my own family (when I eventually got one).

Just keep in mind you don’t have to think of every single tradition you plan on celebrating right now. Making the Christmas Season work for you is a process. Think of things that help you feel the true spirit and bring them into your life. Being alone for the holidays can be a great blessing.

* LDS is short for Latter-day Saint, a nickname for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Another common nickname is the Mormon Church.

So you’re eighteen, you’ve graduated from high school, and now you’re an adult. Right?

Not exactly.

Throwing off our teenage self doesn’t automatically happen the day after we’ve left school or turned twenty. Becoming an adult is a process, sometimes painful. Yet there are ways to help make the transition a bit easier.

Choice and Accountability. One of the first things to consider is taking responsibility for our actions. One of the principle things taught to the young women (girls 12-17) of the Mormon Church (or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) is the value of ‘Choice and Accountability.’

In most facets of our lives we have a choice, even if it’s simply a matter of how we will deal with a situation forced upon us. With each and every choice we make there are consequences: some good, some bad. It is vital that we face the outcome of our decisions and accept the results. Once we do, the ability to guage the end result of our choices will become second nature.

Listen to our Conscience. The Doctrine and Covenants, a record of revelations given to the modern-day prophet Joseph Smith, tells us why it is important to listen to our conscience.

D&C 84:45-46. “For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.”

The light of Christ, His spirit, is given to all mankind upon birth. As we grow up that voice of reason is often quelled by the demands and influences of the world. When we increasingly ignore our conscience, or that light of Christ within us, bad choices will be made.

Take time out to really listen to what your conscience is saying. It will always guide you in the correct path, and you will continually be blessed for it.

Feed Your Spirit. Finding time to fit anything and everything into our lives is impossible. It just is. So now is the time to decide going to church every week is a vital part of your existence. Make sure those around you know missing church is not an option. Enlist roommates or friends to help you make it, just as you’d want to be encouraged to get your homework done or make it to class on time. It is so important to maintain your spiritual side.

Read from good and uplifting books, including scripture. Pray every morning and every night. If you’ve maintained these habits during your teenage years, they’ll be so much easier to continue as you begin life as an adult. If you continue to feed your spirit, everything else in your life will fall into place.

If you start with these three things, your capacity to deal with whatever life throws your way will increase, making the process of growing up just a little less painful.

No matter what background you come from, there is something within you that inherently knows right from wrong. We were born with this gift.

In the Doctrine and Covenants, a book of revelations given to the Prophet Joseph Smith of the Mormon Church (or Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), we are told precisely what this gift is in section 84: 45-46.

“For the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ. And the Spirit giveth light to every man that cometh into the world; and the Spirit enlighteneth every man through the world, that hearkeneth to the voice of the Spirit.”

In this we are told every one of us was born with the light of Christ in our minds. We were born with a conscience. It is a gift, one that can guide us in making right and responsible decisions, even when everyone around us is choosing to do wrong.

Once we recognize this light, this gift, we can use it in all aspects of our lives. Growing up and going out on your own isn’t an easy thing to do. Mom and Dad, leaders and teachers, good and righteous friends, odds are all those who have been noble influences are no longer there to help guide you in every aspect of your life. More often than not once the bands of high school have been cut and a guy and girl have moved out of their parents’ house, the thrilling sense of freedom often goes to their heads.

Now is the time to prove what you’ve been proclaiming for years now: you’re an adult.

Becoming an adult isn’t the fantastic thing most youth think. Becoming an adult comes with even more responsibilities. When heading off to college you must find the financial backing yourself. This can happen through getting a job, applying for grants and scholarships, or taking out a loan. All of these options come with their own responsibilities.

Other decisions will be where to live. How much can you afford for rent, groceries, and other bills? Will you work while going to school?

Just as the material things in our lives are important, our spiritual sides must be fed as well. Will you remember to take yourselves to church every week? Will you set aside time to study your Bible or if you’re Mormon, the Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price as well?

One of your greatest challenges will be to live what you’ve been taught. As teens our first instincts are to take care of #1. During these formative years so much teaching goes into learning to look after others as well. It is a significant sign of adulthood when one is able to place their own needs aside and think first of others.

Taking responsibility of our adult life does not come easily. It is a process. If we listen to that light of Christ within us, our conscience, we will find making the right choices much easier, and the process far less painful.