Taking a Ride on The Love Bus
I love music. So, I was very excited when I heard that our upcoming ward activity was to attend Music and The Spoken Word up in Salt Lake City, one Sunday Morning. We would have to meet early in order to arrive in time, and then afterwards, we planned to eat lunch at the tables in between Temple Square and the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, before returning back to Orem for Church.
Everything was planned, and I had set my alarm clock the night before to give me plenty of time to get ready and be at the Church on time. As I pulled into the church parking lot, my eyes were quickly riveted upon the sight of the “Love Bus.” Brother ——- the first councilor in our Single’s Ward Bishopric owns an old school bus which he has fixed up. When we found out about the bus, we begged to be able to use it for official ward activities. Especially when we found out that the bus number was nine and we are the 9th Ward. It seemed as if it was meant to be. Brother ——- quickly agreed, and so now whenever we have a ward activity that requires transportation we ride in it. It is jolly fun.
A few months ago, the bus was lent to some local High School kids for the Sweetheart’s Dace. The youth painted the outside with lots of hearts and arrows, and the name “The Love Bus.” We thought it quite funny and somehow appropriate for a Singles Ward bus.
The ride up to the Conference Center across the street from Temple Square was fun. Someone hooked up their ipod full of LDS music up to the speakers, so we listened to music, and chatted with our neighbors during the long ride.
Soon we had all arrived at the Conference Center, and the program was starting. Since Music and the Spoken Word is broadcasted live, we all made sure to remain quiet, as we all became lost in the beautiful music celebrating our nation’s freedom (for it was the patriotic broadcast due to it being a few days prior to the 4th of July) sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and accompanied by the Orchestra on Temple Square. We were all caught up in the program which ended all too soon.
Lunch was a simple affair, and soon we were back on the love bus heading home. All in all the activity was a success as far as I am concerned. All involved, had lots of fun. We were edified by the beautiful and patriotic music, and we were brought closer together in comrade and friendship. I look forward for when the Love Bus will ride again…
For I Am Not Ashamed
Years ago, as I was preparing to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints, I was told a story that had a powerful influence upon not only my mission, but also the rest of my life.
A young man, whom I knew, was called to serve a mission in Italy. He was so excited to go and teach the gospel of Jesus Christ to his brothers and sisters in the great country of Italy. He knew that the message he was going to share was true. The Church of Jesus Christ had once again been restored to the Earth the same church that existed in the New Testament. The Priesthood power and Authority were once more upon the Earth which had been lost with the death of those Ancient Apostles. We have a living Prophet upon the Earth. Along with the Holy Bible, we have been blessed with another Testament of Jesus Christ, called The Book of Mormon. This is a record of the Lords dealing with the inhabitants of ancient America. Through the restored gospel we can understand many lost truths including whom we are, why we are here, and where we are going.
This young missionary felt he was ready to go and teach and serve. Soon he found himself at the airport with other missionaries all headed for Italy. While waiting for his plane to arrive, a man came near and asked this missionary who he and his companions were. When the missionary answered, the man started asking him questions of what his mission was to do, and what he was going to teach. Though the missionary answered all the questions, he did so haltingly, shifting from foot to foot, continuing to look down, or at his companions a few feet away for his friends.
The plane arrived and the Missionary started to say goodbye when the man asked one more question, “Are you ashamed of the Church you belong to?” The missionary quickly and empathetically responded, “No!”
“Are you ashamed of the message you are going to share?” The man asked. Again the young missionary gave the same response, “No!”
“Then why,” asked the man as he turned to leave, “Are you acting like it?”
As the young missionary was left to face the answer to this pointed question he was filled with shame and sorrow. He was not ashamed, was he? If not then why was he acting in a way that gave that impression? He thought of Paul’s long ago declaration in the New Testament,
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth…” Romans 1:16
At that moment that young missionary set aside the fear that had driven his previous behavior, and made the decision that he would live so that no one would ever again doubt that he was not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ, nor that he knew that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is in fact Christ’s Church.
When my friend told me of his experience (for he was the young missionary), I began to ask myself if I ever gave the impression from my words or behavior that I was ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I hoped that the answer was no. Even so that day I too made the same promise to myself as my friend had: that I would live so that no one would ever again doubt that I was not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
To Take Upon The Name Of Christ
As I was sitting in the temple, the other night, I saw a copy of The Book of Mormon on the table next to me. I picked it up and randomly began to read. I had opened to the Book of Alma. Captain Moroni had just torn his coat and written upon it the famous Title of Liberty:
“…In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children…” Alma 46:12
As I continued to read, the next few verses stood out to me in a powerful way. For after Moroni fashioned this Title of Liberty upon a pole he,
“…Bowed himself to the earth, and he prayed mightily unto his God for the blessings of liberty to rest upon his brethren, so long as there should a band of Christians remain to possess the land—
For thus were all the true believers of Christ, who belonged to the church of God, called by those who did not belong to the church.
And those who did belong to the church were faithful; yea, all those who were true believers in Christ took upon them, gladly, the name of Christ, or Christians as they were called, because of their belief in Christ who should come.” Alma 46:13-15
Those who belonged to the Church of Christ were scornfully given the nickname of Christians, by the nonbelievers. Yet they embraced this name for they understood that they had covenanted to take upon themselves the name of Christ and all it entailed when they were baptized.
As I thought about this, my mind turned to a familiar complaint among some of my young adult friends that the church micromanages our lives. Why did the Prophet care how many pairs of earrings we wear or, what length our skirts are? Why can’t we drink coffee and tea, or watch “R” rated movies, or become intimate with those we love before marriage? What does it matter what we say, or watch, or think?
It matters because like those Nephites of old, we too have made covenants to take upon ourselves the name of Christ.
So what does it mean to take upon ourselves the name of Christ? It means that we seek to always remember Him. It means that we follow His commandments. It means that we act so that those who know us, but don’t know Christ, will want to know Him, because they know us. We are His living breathing representatives to the world. This means that we have to live a higher standard. This means that more is expected of us.
Yet no matter how much is asked of us in making and keeping this covenant we have made, to take upon ourselves the name of Christ, it is always worth it. For the Lord’s side of the Covenant is that we may always have His spirit to be with us. The gift of the Holy Ghost is one of the most precious gifts our Father in Heaven could give us in this earth life, next to the gift of His Only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, to enable us to return to Him and ultimately become like Him.
Those ancient Nephites understood this principle. And that is why they took this covenant upon themselves gladly. When we understand as they did, then we too will be filled with gladness in taking upon ourselves the most Beloved name of Christ.
The Scarlet Letter of Singledom
A few days ago I was attending a luncheon with a handful of my blogging sisters. Near the end of the luncheon one of the women asked my mother and me how we felt about my little sister’s marriage. Now this is not the first time we have been asked this question. This is probably due to how unique my sister, and her husband’s story are.
After sharing the details of how they came to be together, my mother and I assured our friends, that we are so happy and totally supportive of my sister’s marriage. All you need is to see them together to know that the Lord brought this union about. That is what is so beautiful.
Next thing I knew, every one of the women present shared their own sweet story of how they were united with their own true love. As I listened to the various stories, I found myself wondering what my story will someday be. Will it be romantic, or funny, or almost heartbreaking? My mind stopped right there with the solid realization that I was the only one present without a story of my own.
It is times like these that I feel my single status like a scarlet letter on my chest. Only I have this mark against me not for something I have done, but for something I have not done (namely get married).
This feeling only increased when the women in the group started talking about their children. I felt a yearning so strong within me that it almost hurt. I know that I am not alone in feeling the way I do. Many of my single friends have shared similar feelings. That is why it is increasingly hard for many of them to continue to attend weddings, and baby showers, and family wards.
Thankfully though real and painful these feelings may be, they do not last long. For whenever they try to drag me down I am reminded of what the Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley said,
“Somehow we have put a badge on a very important group in the Church. It reads,‘Singles.’ I wish we would not do that. You are individuals, men and women, sons and daughters of God, not a mass of ‘look-alikes’ or ‘do-alikes.’ Just because you do not happen to be married, does not make you essentially different from others. All of us are very much alike in appearance and emotional responses, in our capacity to think, to reason, to be miserable, to be happy, to love and be loved.
You are just as important as any others in the scheme of our Father in Heaven, and under His mercy no blessing to which you otherwise might be entitled will forever be withheld from you.
You are precious and important to Him. You are precious and important to the Church. You are precious and important to all of us.” To the Single Adults, June 1989 Ensign, Gordon B. Hinckley
When I remember these words, I feel the pain ease, and the scarlet mark of singleness, fade. Then I am able to once more be happy for those around me, and have faith and hope for my future. Someday I too will have a story to share. And perhaps when that time comes, I will be more sensitive to my single friends in my life. In the mean time I can continue on in my life as Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has counseled,
“If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. Your dedication of a lifetime should follow King Benjamin’s advice to be “calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come” (Mosiah 4:11).” The Dedication of a Lifetime, CES Fireside for Young Adults May 1, 2005, Elder Dallin H. Oaks
To grieve not the Spirit
During my time serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was sent to an area where many of the saints were struggling. This area hadn’t had missionaries for almost a year before my companion (the missionary I was assigned to serve with)and I arrived. The stress was high. To make matters worse, we both had hard experiences with previous companions.
One night we started discussing the problems we were facing in this new area. Before I knew what had happened, we were discussing our past area and companions. The longer we talked, the more unkind our words became. Luckily, we realized what was happening and stopped speaking in such a way, immediately.
We were ashamed not only in what we had said, but in how easy it had been to reach that level where we were saying such things to begin with.
Knowing that,
“True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”–Do Not Fear, Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, May 2004
we decided to look for a scripture to memorize, which would remind us of the proper usage of speech. The very next morning, in my personal study, I found what we had been looking for, in the New Testament.
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ‘s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32
I presented this scriptural find to my companion, in our study, and we discussed what it was saying. When we were saying unkind things, we were in essence grieving the Holy Spirit. We were harming those we spoke about and ourselves, as well. Not wanting this to happen, we promised each other and the Lord that we would seek to use our speech to uplift, and edify, not to demean or destroy.
To help us to remember our promise, we memorized these verses of Scripture and repeated it together every day of our remaining time together. Having this standard in our minds and soon in our hearts, as well, helped us to fulfill our promise.
Sadly, since my mission, there have been many times among my single adult friends that conversations have taken a downward turn like that conversation long ago between my mission companion and me. Whenever this begins to occur, I find myself repeating in my mind those verses I had found in Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians, which remind me, like before, what I should and should not be saying. I am thankful for that reminder for as Elder Holland reminded us in the April 2007 General Conference, words hold power.
“So, brothers and sisters, in this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women in at least this one way now—by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail” The Tongue of Angels, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Remember
Relief Society Class on Sunday is a favorite time for me. It is in Relief Society that we study the gospel as sisters and discuss how it applies to our life. Right now we are in the process of learning from The Teachings of The Prophet Joseph Smith. However, on the first Sunday of every month the lesson is on whatever the Relief Society Presidency feels the sisters in our ward need to be taught, and discuss.
This last Fast Sunday, the lesson was given by the 1st councilor in our Relief Society Presidency. She said that all month she had been pondering what she needed to teach. Her answer came during one of her morning Scripture studies. As she was reading, she came across one of the many scriptures in which the Lord called his people to remembrance.
She knew as she read those words that this was what her lesson needed to be about.
How often in our busy lives as single adults (and I am sure it will only get worse once we get married and begin families) do we get so caught up in all we are doing that we forget to take time to remember the most important things? What are these most important things? The Lord tells us in the scriptures what the most important things are.
During the lesson, we were directed to look up a whole bunch of scriptures, each scripture telling us something we are suppose to remember. I will only write a few to give you an example:
1 Nephi 14:8 – Remember your covenants
1 Nephi 15:25 – Remember to keep the Commandments
Mosiah 1:6-7 – Remember the Scriptures are true/ Remember to search them
Mosiah 1:17 – Remember your Duty (where much is given much is required)
Mosiah 27:16 – Remember the captivity of your fathers, and the great things God has done for them, such as, making their burdens light, and also delivering them.
Helaman 5:12 – Remember to build your foundation upon the Rock which is Christ
As we remember these most important things in the midst of our busy lives, we are indeed blessed. We gain strength, purpose, direction, humility, and so much more. All of which is vital in helping us make it through this earthly life. Our Heavenly Father knows this. He also knows that is it natural for us to forget. This is why He is constantly endeavoring to do all within His power to help us not to forget, and when do to help us remember.
As my good friend and teacher gave this lesson in Relief Society, I knew that I needed this reminder in my busy life. It is so easy for me to get caught up in the day to day of my busy life that I lose track of why I am here, and where it is that I desire to go.
I decided then and there that I would set a part time each day to remember. This doesn’t have to be a big time-consuming thing, but it does have to be heartfelt and sincere. I can do this:
-During my Scripture Study
-During my Prayers
-As I write in my Journal
-During my Quiet Times
-During my weekly Personal Inventory Times
Since that lesson I have sought to do this, and have seen/felt a change in my days. I have already begun to see/feel the blessings as they have come into my life. I am so thankful for my Father in Heaven who has helped me to remember.
Early to Bed and Early to Rise…
I have come to the realization that I am not as young as I used to be. Now this is not a bad thing, far from it. I have grown in knowledge, experience and maturity over the years (I hope). I have earned every one of my 25½ years and wouldn’t trade in a single one of them.
However, a not so fun part of growing older is that my body itself is not as forgiving as it used to be. Though I have never majorly abused the body God gave me (by intentionally harming myself, taking drugs, drinking etc…), I have not taken as good a care of it as I should have.
This neglect has been more pronounced in the years of my young adulthood. I have found myself being careless of my actions which have resulted in me injuring myself (like how I tore all the ligaments in my ankle and fractured my ankle bone a few weeks ago while playing on the trampoline with my 6-year-old brother), not eating as healthily as I should (which is compounded in not taking my needed vitamins), and not getting proper rest.
The last is actually my worst problem, and is something that many of my single adult friends have. There is just so much to do in a day that my activities take me late into the night. I am reminded of the poem,
“My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light.”
Edna St. Vincent Millay, “A Few Figs from Thistles”, 1920
The Lord understands why it is important for us to take care of our bodies. He knows that the heath of our bodies affects the workings of the Spirit. In Doctrine and Covenants 88 and 89 (the latter section is on the Word of Wisdom) the Lord addresses the proper care of our bodies,
“Cease to be idle; cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another; cease to sleep longer than is needful; retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated.” Doctrine and Covenants 88:124
We are commanded to be active (not idle). I believe the Lord means active physically, spiritually, and mentally. When we do so then our bodies and our spirits find the proper harmony needed to be one.
To be able to be active and not idle we need proper rest. This means early to bed and early to rise. It has been proven that the body needs a certain amount of sleep to properly function, but that not just any sleep will do. A person needs to get to sleep by 10:00 p.m. to get into the proper sleep cycle that rejuvenates.
This is not always easy to do, but it is possible. To follow the counsel of the Lord it takes maturity, and discipline. However when we do so, we are blessed beyond measure.
Who Wants to Speak To You
Late one night while, sitting around the campfire, at our last Singles Ward Relief Society campout, (we have one at least once a year) the question arose of what our greatest pet peeves were.
Some of the sisters claimed that they had no pet peeves for nothing bothered them. I must not be as perfected as they are yet, for I most definitely have some. I found myself nodding my head when some of my sisters answered,
-When someone chews with their mouth open
-Couples making out in public
-When someone is always putting them self down
-When couples are always putting down their other half
-Gossip, crudeness, or general meanness
When it finally came my time to answer, I had to stop and think for a moment. What is my greatest pet peeve? For, though these things may annoy me, I can normally, but not always, brush them off. Yet there is one thing that bothers me to no end. What is that? Cell phones in church or during important meetings.
Being a young single adult, I see this all too often. It is a common thing to hear the request at the beginning of a movie, class, or meeting to, “Please turn off your cell phone!” And yet then invariably sometime during the said event someone’s cell phone goes off. When this happens the person with the cell phone always feels embarrassed and normally doesn’t even answer the call, but instead fumbles with their phone to stop the ringing. However by that time, the person speaking has already been interrupted, and the rest of the audience distracted.
I have heard it referred to as an addiction of having to know who wants to speak to you as the reason why some people never turn their cell phone off, not even at church where they specifically ask you to do so. Today it is not just phones ringing that are a distraction in church, but the constant texting that is going on.
In a message given in the August 2007 New Era about texting and cell phones Russell and Brad Wilcox said,
“Like all communication tools, cell phones with text messaging capabilities can be positive or negative depending on how they are used. Stories can be told of a texted birthday greeting that made someone’s day or a disaster that was avoided because someone was warned quickly and effectively in a text message. Still, not-so-positive stories can also be told of teenagers texting their friends during Sunday School or seminary lessons, of people being hurt by the content of a message received, or, …of people avoiding or disregarding those around them in favor of texting someone else.” Keep Texting from Taking Over, Russell and Brad Wilcox
Two Sundays ago one of our high councilors in our Stake, issued a challenge to all of us Single Adults in his talk about preparing for our upcoming General Conference. He challenged us to turn off our cell phones during Conference this year. This wise high councilor said that though it is nice to know who wants to speak to us that at conference time we know who wants to speak to us. For the Lord said that,
“What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.” Doctrine and Covenants 1:38
At conference time the Lord is trying to speak to us. The words that will be spoken by the Prophet, Apostles, and General Authorities of the church, are really the words of the Lord. And the message He wants to give us will bless us more than any message we could receive from one of our earthly friends. This is the same for our regular church meetings, however if this is too big a step, then I challenge my readers to start with General Conference (the coming weekend) and see what a difference it makes.
Patience With Parents
I have heard many of my single adult friends complain about their parents seeming interfere with their life. Indeed I have heard the comments, “Why can’t my parents just leave me alone?”, or “Why can’t they acknowledge that I am an adult?”, or “If only they would stay out of my life.”
I must admit that a time or three I used to feel that way, as well. As an adult I felt the need to spread my wings and independently fly. Part of becoming an adult was to be independent isn’t it? It was my right and responsibility to think and act of myself (and live with the consequences.) Besides my parent’s responsibility toward me was over, wasn’t it?
I finally came to realize how unjust and immature I was being. It was pride and misunderstanding that stood in my way of accepting their wisdom, counsel, and involvement in my life. What I needed to realize was that my parents will never outlive their responsibility toward me, their child. President Ezra Taft Benson the 13th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormons)taught,
“Fathers and certainly mothers too, yours is an eternal calling from which you are never released. … A father’s calling is eternal, and its importance transcends time. It is a calling for both time and eternity.” To the Fathers in Israel,Ensign, Nov. 1987, Ezra Taft Benson
Where parents will never outlive their responsibilities as parents, when their children grow into adulthood, their parental roles do change. This can be difficult to adjust to on both sides. This merely necessitates more love and understanding.
“While parental responsibility never ceases, it does change. After the birth of a child, parents provide for the baby’s every need. As the child grows, the amount of parental involvement decreases. Over time, the degree of involvement becomes harder for parents to determine. By the time children have reached adulthood, the complexity of determining the timing, extent, and direction of parental involvement in children’s lives sometimes causes parents to give up. As a result, they either assume a very passive role or stop those relationships altogether. When this happens, everybody loses. Parents feel alienated from their children’s lives and activities, and the children lose opportunities to draw on the wisdom their parents have accumulated through years of experience.” July 2006 Ensign, Families Are Forever—and So Is Parenthood, By Garth Hanson and Steve Hanson
As we realize that our parents are trying to adjust to this new role they have in our lives, (which is not easy for them) and recognize that their actions stem from love toward us, then we can have more patience and understanding toward them.
There is still much that we can learn from our parents. There always will be. This is a great blessing to us. In closing I would like to remind all my single adult friends that as we learn how to adjust to our relationship with our parents, it is important for us to remember that being an adults, doesn’t void God’s commandment to always,
“Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” Deuteronomy 5:16
Where Does Our Tent Face?
A number of years ago when I first joined my stake singles ward, I had a Relief Society Lesson that changed my life. I no longer recall all the details of the lesson, but there is one part that I will never forget.
The sister who was teaching Relief Society that Sunday, was a nurse. She works with babies, specifically premature ones. She told us that part of her responsibility was to visit the babies in their home after they were released from the hospital to give them checkups etc… Normally she enjoyed these checkups, but there was one home she always dreaded to go. It was a small home, and the only surface she could lay the baby upon to do the check up was a small coffee table in the front living room. Normally this wouldn’t bother her, except that the parents always had the TV on and what they were watching was not something she ever wanted stored in her mind.
For weeks she struggled to just keep her head down and focus on the baby to get through the checkup as fast as she could and then leave. Yet, no matter how hard she concentrated, she could not block out what was being shown just a foot away from her head. Her quiet humming could block out the noise, but somehow no matter how hard she tried there she would always leave with at least one more unwanted image ingrained in her mind.
Then one morning while studying The Book of Mormon, she came across a powerful verse of scripture:
“And they pitched their tents round about the temple, every man having his tent with the door thereof towards the temple, that thereby they might remain in their tents and hear the words which King Benjamin should speak unto them.” Mosiah 2:6
In her study that day my friend cross-referenced that scripture with this scripture,
“Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.” Genesis 13:12
What an amazing difference the direction of their tents made in the lives of these two people. The first people pitched their tents toward the Temple of God, and the Lord’s Prophet and they were greatly blessed because of it in so many ways. However, Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom, and the world, and in the end he lost everything including his wife.
After reading these two scriptures, my friend made a decision in how to handle this difficult circumstance. The next time she went to do the checkup, instead of just bending her head, she repositioned herself so that her back was to the TV all together. She said that this made all the difference in the world.
At this point she told us that we all have a choice to make. It was up to us to decide which direction we were going to pitch our tents in our lives. She reminded us that right now, in our single lives, we have the most freedom to rearrange the direction of our tents if needed. Later on when we have more permanently established our lives with our spouse and children it will be much more difficult to do so.