God’s Diversity of Gifts
Filed under: Doctrine & Covenants, Finding joy within the gospel, Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, LDS Practices, Men & Priesthood, Priesthood, Priesthood, Self-Worth, Service, Uncategorized, Women
Mormon scriptures teach that every person God creates is given gifts, talents, traits, and experiences from Him, to be used to help others, as well as to bless our own lives. They are His gifts to us. What we choose to do with them is our 
gift to God. It does no good, for instance, to be given a gift to teach powerful spiritual messages if we refuse to learn about Jesus or turn down an opportunity to teach Sunday School.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby. (See Doctrine and Covenants 46: 11-12.)
Everyone, male and female, can receive spiritual gifts. The scriptures list many of these gifts, and it can be interesting, as we read, to highlight each gift mentioned. The gifts bless the holder of the gifts if he uses them wisely, but they can also be used to bless others. A person who has the gift of faith can use it to find the truth among conflicting and confusing choices. This gift can be used to help that person become a member of the Savior’s church. It comes to her through the Spirit of Christ. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, her faith grows even more. She might then choose to use that gift to pray for others or to share her faith with those who were not given as strong a gift as she received.
We’re taught that it is appropriate to pray for certain gifts, if we are prepared to use them wisely in the service of others, rather than to glorify ourselves. A person who is invited to teach a class, but lacks the gift to teach can begin to pray for it. While praying, of course, she must do what she can to improve her teaching skills, but God will step in and honor righteous requests if they are part of His plan for us. A prayer to become the greatest teacher in the world is not likely to be honored, because this is a prideful request, but a prayer to have the ability to teach the class one has agreed to teach will be honored.
The diversity of the human race is one of God’s best ideas. If we all had the same talents, gifts, and assignments, most things wouldn’t get done. The world needs writers, but it doesn’t need everyone to be a writer. It needs gardeners, but everyone doesn’t need a talent for gardening. Because each of us has different talents and passions, everything that needs doing gets done. If we each had all the talents possible in equal proportion, we might find ourselves spread too thin, and most things wouldn’t get accomplished. We’d all be doing whatever was easiest or created the most wealth, given human nature.
In the same way, God divided up certain tasks and assigned them to specific genders. Only women were given the ability to give birth. This doesn’t mean God loves men less; it only means that doesn’t happen to be one of the tasks assigned to them. Only men hold the priesthood, but that does not say women aren’t worthy or capable of holding it. Priesthood is an office, not a gender, but assigning it to men keeps it focused, just as assigning childbirth only to women keeps that aspect of life focused.
Within the Mormon Church, there are a great many tasks to be completed, because we have a lay religion and very complex programs. Everyone is asked to take on his or her share of the work. Tasks are assigned in various ways that make the church run more smoothly. Some are assigned by age: Only a twelve or thirteen year old girl may serve as a youth leader in the Beehive Program. (Beehives are girls of that age in the Young Women’s program for teenagers.) Others are assigned by gender: Only women can serve as Primary or Relief Society Presidents. (These are, respectively, the organizations for children and women.) Some tasks are open to anyone who is an adult: Anyone may teach the children or the literacy classes, even though only women can lead those programs. Some tasks are assigned by office: Only a person who holds the office of a high priest can serve as a bishop (the leader of a congregation.) It might appear that the rule is that only men can be bishops, but actually, the rule is that only high priests can be bishops. A good and worthy man who does not hold the office of high priest in the priesthood cannot be a bishop, no matter how qualified he is otherwise.
While it’s true that only men are to hold the Mormon priesthood (as we see from even a casual study of the Bible), this does not limit a woman from serving God, anymore than not being able to be the Primary president limits a man’s ability to serve God. There are many ways to serve, and God does not love the priesthood holders more than the Primary president—or the door greeter. We don’t get bonus points for serving in certain kinds of positions. God asks us to serve wherever He needs us, and if we do this well, we are blessed for our attitude and willingness to serve, not for the specific task accomplished.
Men holding the priesthood receive no special blessings over the women. It isn’t about power or blessings, or God’s love. It is, rather, about our trust in God and His plan. If we have a testimony that the Savior is at the head of the church, and that He sees with a vision greater than our own, we won’t waste valuable mortality hours fretting over what gifts or offices we don’t have. Instead, we’ll work hard to develop those God has asked us to take on. As with every other aspect of the gospel, it really comes down to a testimony. How much do you trust God?
When I was first investigating the church, the priesthood issue concerned me. As a teenager raised in the 1970s, I thought women’s lib was what I was supposed to be living, even though I was known for my love of taking care of children. In other words, my nature was fairly traditional, if you leave out housework. The missionaries, when asked about priesthood at the first lesson, told me they’d be happy to discuss it with me, but I needed more background and training in prayer first. They asked me to learn to pray, and to continue to study, and then we’d discuss it. By the time I was able to understand the answers, I no longer needed to ask the question. I had learned to get my own answers through prayer and I had come to see how much God valued the woman’s place in His kingdom. I understood that being told I had to turn into a man was degrading to women and insulting to God, who created gender. It was no longer a problem for me. I had become proud of the person God created in me.
Over the years, I’ve longed for certain gifts. Some I’ve been able to receive, such as an improved ability to teach. Others were not my calling, such as a desire to sing. Over the years, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve stopped wasting time fretting over what I don’t have, and have begun to be thankful for what I do have. God gave me a most interesting gift box of traits, talents, and experiences. I would be ungrateful and unworthy of those gifts if I wasted my life whining they weren’t good enough.
Why Don’t Mormon Women Want the Priesthood?
Mormon women are regularly asked why they don’t demand to hold the priesthood, which is given only to worthy boys and men. This is sometimes seen as proof that Mormon women are not considered equal in the church.
The truth is that faithful Mormon women devote very little time to contemplating this subject, and don’t consider themselves mistreated in any way over it. There are several things an outside observer must understand in order to see why this is so.
Let’s begin with an explanation of what the priesthood is. The priesthood is the power and authority of God. It is the tool God used to create the earth and administer the work of the gospel. He delegates keys to worthy men to assist in this work.
The priesthood is given to young men beginning at age twelve and they receive increasing levels of responsibility as they advance through the offices. The first priesthood they receive is the Aaronic Priesthood. In the Old Testament, we see the Aaronic Priesthood was given only to men, under direction from God. The first office of this priesthood is the office of a deacon. Deacons are twelve or thirteen years old, or older if they’ve joined the church later. At fourteen, they become Teachers, and at sixteen, Priests. Priests are not the equivalent of a Catholic priest.
When they are adults, they can receive the Melchizedek Priesthood. Priesthood holders are specifically called to watch over the church and to serve. They bless and pass the Sacrament (similar to the communion), heal the sick, visit members in their homes to check on their well-being, and perform many other acts of service for the church.
Some church positions of leadership can only be held by priesthood holders, and this is where the controversy arises by those who don’t understand the priesthood or the culture.
It should first be noted that those who hold the priesthood cannot use it on themselves. If a priesthood holder is ill, he cannot give a special blessing of healing to himself. Just as a woman must do, he must find two other priesthood holders to come and administer that blessing. Everyone in the church can receive all the blessings and gifts of the priesthood, whether or not they hold the priesthood themselves, and all must receive those blessings from others.
They receive no extra rewards in Heaven, no special privileges, and no financial paycheck.They have a greater responsibility, but no additional rewards. The Mormons operate a lay church, and everyone volunteers. This is one reason women aren’t demanding to hold it. Most women consider themselves far too busy already, with more opportunities to lead and serve than they have time for. They see no special benefit in taking on the work of the priesthood as well as their own.
One question often asked of Mormon women is whether or not they object to not being allowed to become a bishop, which is the ecclesiastical equivalent of a pastor or minister. The general wisdom among Mormons is that no one who is worthy to do the job and who understands what it entails wants that job. Women are quite happy to know they can’t be given it. As mentioned earlier, it is not a paid position. The bishop holds a full-time job, and has a family. In between all the various aspects of his personal life, he does nearly everything a full-time pastor must do. He serves for about five years, and during this time, bishops generally have no time to themselves and spend a great many hours away from home.
Mormon women consider their first responsibility to be to their families. They are given the sacred gift of bearing and
raising children, and of maintaining a pleasant and spiritual home. While not all women are able to marry or to have children, these women find other ways to serve, often spending time caring for extended family, or serving in demanding church leadership roles. They carry out the commandment to care for their own homes well, even if they live alone. Mormon women do not see this role as demeaning, but as an honor. What could be a greater privilege than to care for God’s children? Mormon women don’t feel the need for a paycheck to prove their worth. Their paycheck comes from the pleasures of being able to raise their own children or care for their families. They reach beyond cleaning and cooking and work to create a home at the highest levels. Parents don’t just bathe and feed children. They teach them and lead them.
Although their priorities are in the home, Mormon women do have many opportunities to be leaders and to serve. They can head up the Primary, which is the children’s auxiliary, the Young Women’s Organization, which is for teenagers, and the Relief Society, which is for the women of the church. There are other church jobs that do not require the priesthood and are open to either gender. Mormon women serve in their own congregations and all the way up the church structure to lead in the international church for these same organizations. The General Relief Society president, for instance, has a responsibility for all the women in the church, and oversees a worldwide organization larger than most corporations. Ample opportunities to lead are available to women in the church, and the priesthood is not necessary to give them the opportunities they need.
The bishop does not deliver the weekly sermon. In the Sunday services, known as Sacrament Meeting, men and women can give the prayers and the sermons. Each meeting has an opening and a closing prayer, and two to three speakers chosen from the congregation. This gives women many opportunities to preach and to pray. This service is followed by classes which are often taught by women. During the week, other meetings are held, also often run by women.
The Mormon women are not concerned about holding the priesthood, largely because they’re simply too busy with home, community and church service, and leadership, as well as a career for some, to give it much thought. They find complete satisfaction in the roles already available to them and do not in any way feel limited. Although the priesthood does provide opportunities to serve others-the entire function of the priesthood-women have many other, often more important ways, to serve.
The most important reason Mormon women don’t demand the priesthood, however, is that God has chosen that role for the men and another role for the women. With the great faith Mormon women are known for, they trust God and focus on the roles given them.
Visiting Teaching: A Gateway To Lasting Friendship
After returning home from serving a full-time mission for the church, I spent two months with my family before leaving to jump right back into school. For eight months I totally immersed myself in the realms of academia. Then I felt prompted to come home. My family needed me, and I probably needed them as well.
This is how I found myself back in the same stake singles ward I have been attending since I graduated High School at 17. Where there was a handful of familiar faces, most of my friends from years past had either; graduated from college and moved, or they had gotten married.
For the first few months, I forced myself to be outgoing and try to make some new friends. The result was that I had people to talk to on Sunday, but no close friends. I had met some people whom I felt a connection to, whom I wanted to become friends with, but I didn’t know where to start. I saw and spoke to them every Sunday. I even invited them to my house, or to go do something. (By the way, these two girls were roommates and close friends) Yet, despite my best efforts nothing came of it.
Then one Sunday the new Visiting Teaching assignments were handed out. I love Visiting Teaching. I have a real testimony of the importance of this program. It is more then just a calling to go once a month into the home of these sisters, and share a spiritual lesson, ask if there is anything you can do for them, then leave until another month has come around. It is an opportunity to build friendships that last for years.
This is why I was so very excited when I read my new assignment and discovered that not only did I have a new V.T. companion (another girl whom I also wanted to get to know better), but I had new sisters assigned. Included were the two girls I had been trying to reach out to for the past few months.
It was during our first visit that whatever barriers were standing in the way, of us getting to know each other better, disappeared. We all began talking, and though we realized how very different we all were, we also realized how much we had in common. Over the next few months the bonds of friendship were deeply forged. One of the girls has become as a sister, to me, and the other a very close friend.
Looking back over these last few months and all we have each been through, I see how much I needed their friendships to help me make it. I also see how much they each needed my friendship. What a tender mercy from God, to have brought us together, when He did.
I have a real testimony of the Visiting Teaching program. Heavenly Father instituted this program for some wise and powerful purposes. Among which was to bring the sisters of the church together, in a way that would help us move past the barriers we all have around us, and build lasting and meaningful friendships.
All Things Must Be Done In Order
I have this bad habit. I don’t think I had it as a child. I seem to have developed it in my youth, and it has only gotten worse as I have grown into single adulthood. What is this habit I am talking about? I am always trying to do too much. I put so much on my plate that I either can’t do it all and then end up beating myself up over it. Or, I do manage to do it all, and get so burned out that I crash and am worthless for a period of time afterwards.
I am told that this is a problem that most women suffer from. As women, we naturally have a lot that we have to juggle in our lives. Even more so once we are married and have children and a household for which we are responsible. Maybe that is why God blessed us with the wonderful ability to multi-task. And yet the more I develop that ability, the worse this problem seems to become, not better. It seems as if the more I can handle the more I load myself down with things to do.
Sometimes I wonder if this is just what God expects of me, and that I just need to learn how to handle. But this isn’t what God wants of his children, especially his daughters. President Gordon B. Hinckley the 15th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka the Mormons) said to the women of the church,
“I feel to invite women everywhere to rise to the great potential within you. I do not ask that you reach beyond your capacity. I hope you will not nag yourselves with thoughts of failure. I hope you will not try to set goals far beyond your capacity to achieve. I hope you will simply do what you can do in the best way you know. If you do so, you will witness miracles come to pass.” President Gordon B. Hinckley
The Lord doesn’t expect us to do more then we are able. He just wants us to do our best.
This requires us to prioritize our responsibilities and commitments to see what needs to be done now, and what can be done later. As President Hinckley once counseled, we can do everything, just not all at once. There is a proper time and season for everything. We need to use wisdom to see what the proper time, and the season for each responsibility in our life is.
This lesson was reemphasized in my mind the other night as I read in the Book of Mormon,
“And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.” Mosiah 4:27
I hope that we can all learn how to use wisdom and order in how we handle the responsibilities in our lives and that we can be diligent, and yet healthy in all we endeavor to do. I feel that this way, we can all win the prize.
Where Does Our Tent Face?
A number of years ago when I first joined my stake singles ward, I had a Relief Society Lesson that changed my life. I no longer recall all the details of the lesson, but there is one part that I will never forget.
The sister who was teaching Relief Society that Sunday, was a nurse. She works with babies, specifically premature ones. She told us that part of her responsibility was to visit the babies in their home after they were released from the hospital to give them checkups etc… Normally she enjoyed these checkups, but there was one home she always dreaded to go. It was a small home, and the only surface she could lay the baby upon to do the check up was a small coffee table in the front living room. Normally this wouldn’t bother her, except that the parents always had the TV on and what they were watching was not something she ever wanted stored in her mind.
For weeks she struggled to just keep her head down and focus on the baby to get through the checkup as fast as she could and then leave. Yet, no matter how hard she concentrated, she could not block out what was being shown just a foot away from her head. Her quiet humming could block out the noise, but somehow no matter how hard she tried there she would always leave with at least one more unwanted image ingrained in her mind.
Then one morning while studying The Book of Mormon, she came across a powerful verse of scripture:
“And they pitched their tents round about the temple, every man having his tent with the door thereof towards the temple, that thereby they might remain in their tents and hear the words which King Benjamin should speak unto them.” Mosiah 2:6
In her study that day my friend cross-referenced that scripture with this scripture,
“Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom.” Genesis 13:12
What an amazing difference the direction of their tents made in the lives of these two people. The first people pitched their tents toward the Temple of God, and the Lord’s Prophet and they were greatly blessed because of it in so many ways. However, Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom, and the world, and in the end he lost everything including his wife.
After reading these two scriptures, my friend made a decision in how to handle this difficult circumstance. The next time she went to do the checkup, instead of just bending her head, she repositioned herself so that her back was to the TV all together. She said that this made all the difference in the world.
At this point she told us that we all have a choice to make. It was up to us to decide which direction we were going to pitch our tents in our lives. She reminded us that right now, in our single lives, we have the most freedom to rearrange the direction of our tents if needed. Later on when we have more permanently established our lives with our spouse and children it will be much more difficult to do so.
The Power of Appearance
A short while ago, I was watching a movie which I had not seen in a long time. In this movie, there is a certain young woman (she was actually just a side character in the film) who has always tugged at my heart strings. Due to the fact that her mother died, when she was a small child, she was raised solely by her father. Not knowing how to raise a daughter, he did the best he could and raised her as a boy. She was strong of body and character, but lacking in beauty and every feminine grace. More then once in the film this fact was remarked upon by those she came in contact with.
Anyway, as I was watching this movie my baby sister (nine years of age) walked in. She took one look at this awkward young lady on the screen and with an expression of awe said, “Oh my, isn’t she just beautiful! Don’t I look a lot like her? Do you think that when I grow up, I can be as beautiful as her?” I was struck, how could I tell my sister that this young lady was considered by the world as ugly and so very lacking? I held my tongue and instead looked closer to see if I could discern this beauty that was so apparent to my little sister. It only took a moment for me to begin to discern that beauty. This character had a strong inward beauty, but there was a hint at an outward beauty, as well. Only, like me, most of the other characters (including the girl herself) could not see it. As the movie progressed, the young woman was taught all she never had the opportunity to learn from a loving mother. As she learned how to act like a woman and look like a woman, I saw her grow in confidence, grace, and beauty. I saw this reflected in how those around her both saw and treated her, as well. This is a powerful lesson.
I was taught once that the way we appear affects the way we think, feel, act, and thus how others react toward us. I have found this to be true in my life, just as I saw it to be true with that young lady in the movie I just mentioned. The famous early American author Jack London understood this principle, and that is why in a letter to his daughter Jane he counseled,
“Never hesitate at making yourself a dainty, delightful girl and woman. There is a girl’s pride and a woman’s pride in this and it is indeed a fine pride. On the one hand, of course, never over-dress. On the other hand, never be a frump. No matter how wonderful are the thoughts that burn in your brain, always, physically, and in dress, make yourself a delight to all eyes that behold you…Our bodies are as glorious as are our minds…Never forget the noble things of the spirit, on the other hand, never let you body be ignoble. As regards to the garmenture of your body, learn to do much with little, never to over do, and to keep such a balance between your garmenture and your mind that both garmenture and mind are beautiful…Develop your mind to it’s upmost beauty, and keep you body in pace with your mind.” Letters of a Nation, pg 330-331
Contrarily, I have heard it said often enough that it is only the inside that counts. It matters not how you dress, groom, or carry yourself. That it bespeaks more humility and spirituality to not take care of your outward appearance. Where I can agree that it is the inside that mostly counts, we cannot forget the outward, in fact President Harold B. Lee counseled,
“Do not underestimate the important symbolic and actual effect of appearance. Persons who are well groomed and modestly dressed invite the companionship of the Spirit of our Father in Heaven and are able to exercise a wholesome influence upon those around them. Persons who are unkempt and careless about their appearance, or adopt the visual symbols of those who often oppose our ideals, expose themselves and persons around them to influences that are degrading and dissonant. Outward appearance is often a reflection of inward tendencies” President Harold B. Lee, “Be Loyal to the Royal Within You,” BYU, 11 September, 1973
When I think of how our outward appearance is a reflection of what is inside, I think of Paul’s statement in the New Testament,
“Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are”
1 Corinthians 3:16–17
Temples are sacred places. It is what happens inside that is most important. Yet have you ever visited a Temple of God? If you have (or if you have only seen a picture) then you have seen how beautiful the outward building, and grounds are. This is because like President Lee said, that the outward is merely a reflection of the inward. The temple stands as a candle on a hill, an invitation for all who see it to come unto Christ. If our bodies are temples, should not they act in the same way? Should not our outside reflect the glory within, and stand as a light to the world to help others come unto Christ?
I promise that as we better align out outward appearance to better reflect our inward self, then how we think, feel, and act will change,as will, how others react toward us. For, we will begin to see, the inherent beauty we were born with, and so will all those around us.
You Are Leading Lady Material
My friend (who was feeling rather poorly) invited me to come over to her home, the other day. She said that she was in the mood to watch a chick-flick, eat chocolate, and talk about life. I was happy to oblige her. There was a particular movie she wanted to watch, for as she put it, one of the main characters reminded her of me. As I began to watch, I realized that the resemblance between me and this fictional character were uncommonly similar. This, said, the movie was quite the wake up call. I swallowed a few hard truths about myself and how I approach relationships, which is probably why I haven’t had much success. Later, the more I thought of it, the more I realized, that a lot of girls that I know, who are still single, are just like her, as well.
What was this woman like? Well, she was an intelligent, beautiful, sensitive, romantic woman. She was never lacking in friendship, but those friendships rarely developed into any real relationships. She was the one that men felt was “safe.” She gave her heart to a man who took it, and kept it, but did not return the favor. He gave his heart elsewhere, but kept her in his life, because he was emotionally dependent on her. Who else could he talk to, who understood him so well, who had the best advice, who inspired him to reach for the stars? Thus, he never gave her what she needed. Yet, never let her go, either. If she ever got free of that relationship, the next would start, and finish the same way. At one point, in the movie, this woman was told,
“In the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.”
Why, if she was, as stated in the movie, “leading lady material,” did she act the part of the best friend to the men in her life? I thought a lot about this and all I could come up with was fear (of rejection if she really put herself out there), and doubt (that she was good enough to be thought of as anything other then just a friend.). So, with this fear and doubt she acted in a way that doomed her to live out her fear.
So, how does one overcome such impediments standing in the way of Happiness?
First, we must remember that fear does not come of God.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
We also know that there is only one way to overcome fear. In the scriptures we are told that it is through charity or perfect love.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear…” (1 John 4:18)
So, the key to overcoming fear in a relationship, is to love. One needs to love, not just, the one you want to have the relationship with, but love oneself, as well. Can you really love another if you don’t love yourself first?
Which brings us to the second problem, which is doubt.
Doubt comes from not having a healthy self esteem. President James E. Faust spoke on the importance of a healthy self-esteem back in May 2007 in a CES Fireside. He started his talk by sharing,
“An unknown Englishman of early days offered this prayer: “O God, help me to hold a high opinion of myself.” “That,” said President Harold B. Lee of the Englishman’s plea, “should be the prayer of every soul; not an abnormally developed self-esteem that becomes haughtiness, conceit, or arrogance, but a righteous self-respect that might be defined as ‘belief in one’s own worth, worth to God, and worth to man.
Indeed, the self-esteem that I speak of this evening is not blind, arrogant, vain, self-love but rather a self-esteem that is self-respecting, honest, and without conceit. It is born of inner peace and strength.
Self-esteem goes to the very heart of our personal growth and accomplishment. It is the glue that holds together our self-reliance, our self-control, our self-approval or disapproval and keeps all self-defense mechanisms secure. It is a protection against excessive self-deception, self-distrust, self-reproach, and plain old-fashioned selfishness.” James E. Faust, The Value of Self-Esteem, CES Fireside May6, 2007
This healthy self-esteem, or self-worth coupled with love when possessed will emanate from our very beings. Then, and only then, can we truly act the part of the leading lady in our life. When this happens, we will see a difference in not only how the men in our life view us, but every other person in our life as well. This is what our Father in Heaven wants for us.
He wants us to be happy. I know this with all my heart. He wants us to not only marry and have families, but to be successful in them; for Heavenly Father knows that is where our greatest opportunity for happiness in this life is. He knows our fears, and doubts, and has provided a way to overcome them, so that we can receive all that He has planned for us. I know this is true, and I know that someday I’ll be able to look back on the other side of life and see the confirmation of all I have just said.